The Thirteenth Hour Podcast #291: Wanting, Needing, Self-Compassion, and a Thirteenth Hour Reading
This week’s show takes a small passage from The Thirteenth Hour and extrapolates it into an exploration into what it means to want, to need, and what really is compassion to ourselves – needing, wanting, or both? In this passage, Logan, the main character of The Thirteenth Hour, is having a dream where he talks with a former mentor, Wally, the wizard who originally recruited a reluctant Logan into all the shenanigans that resulted in the story.
Did I not say you’d be great hero someday?”
“Ah, Wally, I …”
“Okay, I get a little carried away sometimes, but look how far you’ve come! You’re just in a little rut now.”
“You know, I don’t care much about that now. The quest and all that. It’s, well, other things that are starting to seem more important.”
“Oh, yes, of course. I know. You’re starting to understand.”
“It doesn’t feel like understanding. I feel more confused than ever.”
“And that is always how one must begin. Besides, Logan, if I had all the answers, I could call myself a wise man. Maybe there’s fate, maybe there are gods, maybe there’s just chance, but you know what? Does it really matter? For all intents and purposes, your life, your world, your own story, is really what you make of it. We all start life with the same blank sheets of paper, the same quill, and the same bottle of ink. Our hand is guided to the pen, then to the inkwell, and then the first page. That’s where we all start. But how we write, and what we write, is largely up to ourselves. Your world, Logan, can be whatever you want it to be. The things around you, well, they’re just things. But how you see them, that’s what you can change. Now, what is it that you really want?”
I thought for awhile. “No one’s really asked me that before.”
“Well, I’m asking you now.”
“I think I’m going to have to get back to you on that.”
“Well, you work on that. Just remember, there’s a difference between wanting and needing, and it’s okay to want things. See, Logan, the things you want don’t always have to be real to be true. You can paint the canvas of your life in whatever colors you choose … if only you wish it so …”
And sometimes, wanting and needing can result in the same action. But at other times, what we really need is exactly opposite of what we want. For example, take the song “Many Miles,” that debuted last week. It’s a song about one of the main characters of the next Thirteenth Hour book, Aurora, as she struggles to make decisions. In other words, it’s about wanting vs. needing! She does not want to leave a home she has built with her husband, a life she has created for herself that is comfortable and safe from the chaos of the world. But there is a small but growing part of herself that feels unfulfilled and a bit empty, like something is missing, given the lack of knowledge she has about her family and the early (unknown) parts of her life. What she actually needs is to shake up the status quo to learn that information in order to feel fulfilled enough to really appreciate what she has created. So – the compassionate choice – leaving – is actually the more painful one. But it’s the one she needs in order to move forward in life, even though she doesn’t want to. Complicated, isn’t it? 🙂 But, so often, our lives are. That’s encapsulated in the song (which is why it took son long to finally get right) and also in this episode.
And, as mentioned before, the patches I mentioned a few weeks ago are now ready and available for purchase here! They come with a high quality mp3 download from Once Upon a Dream, the next Thirteenth Hour soundtrack LP.
If you still have a cassette player, take advantage of the following deal and be transported to another world! SALE! While supplies last, grab Long Ago Not So Far Away on cassette! Just $1/tape!
There are now Thirteenth Hour toys! If you’d like to pick up one of these glow in the dark figures for yourself, feel free to email me or go to the Etsy store I set up (https://www.etsy.com/shop/ThirteenthHourStudio) and get them there.
If the past few months have got you needing a break, you may want to chill out to this 80s synth throwback track for a upcoming LP with the accompanying music video:
Empty Hands, the synth EP soundtrack to the novella, Empty Hands, is now out for streaming on Bandcamp.
Stay tuned. Follow along on Spotify! There is also a growing extended Thirteenth Hour playlist on Spotify with a growing number of retro 80s songs.
As always, thanks for listening!
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